SUBSCRIBEI’m disappointed
A teenage boy approached me while sipping my coffee at a cafe in Robinsons Galleria while waiting for the rains to stop and he placed a folded yellow printed paper on my table. Peeking from the fold, I was just able to read Musika. He uttered “Sir, donation…” I immediately gestured to say no. He uttered something again but it was incomprehensible to me and I again gestured no. Cutting him in his attempts to convince me. Helplessly, he got his paper and left for another table just behind me. And another. He was always refused. I saw him head to the escalator. Disappointed.
I felt guilty with what I did. Maybe this guy was just doing his part in his group’s plans of making a project come true. Maybe it was his way of contributing to a worthy parish cause. But I never bothered to check the folded yellow printed paper put on my table. I never bothered to call him again and learn what he is trying to do. I never bothered even if pangs of guilt crept into me.
I’m disappointed with myself.
September 24th, 2007 at 4:31PM
bai, i guess it’s natural lang to feel guilt pangs.
like sidney, i almost always give to these kids (some are way past their youth). of course, laging me nagging thoughts na baka part lang of a syndicate, etc. but then again, i just think na my intention is good so i don’t have to worry about things i have no way of knowing. thing about it is, as sidney wits, me karma talaga. i’ve seen it happen to me a lot of times. while i don’t give naman just to expect good karma, i don’t mind the good things coming my way thru serendipity. and in any case, i give with an open heart and an open mind, hopefully, time comes when i need help, there will be others who’d do the same for me.
September 23rd, 2007 at 4:22PM
Sidney, thanx for that other insight. Its also another view that I haven’t thought about much.
September 22nd, 2007 at 9:58AM
I (almost) always give money to beggars, street kids, people in need. Never enough but I make it a point to give ALWAYS something.
I don’t buy the arguments that they should work, do this or that. I always ask me the question if I would want to beg (even if this seems to be an easy way to earn money).
And then we have to admit what is 5 to 20 pesos for us? I once gave 100 pesos to a beggar who was in a very bad shape. I never saw someone more happy. It was just a magical moment. I even regretted not giving him more.
Besides I believe in good karma. If you do good things in life, good things will come to you. (call it charity out of self-interest)
Anyway, I am sometimes disappointed in the people I help but this is the risk you need to take. In fact once I helped it is not my problem anymore. Even if they are not thankful or if they cheated me. I don’t like the feeling of being disappointed in myself…
Anyway you are a good man and you have still your whole life to do good deeds!
September 21st, 2007 at 5:35PM
pero i would have just checked that paper. it may be legit or it may not but i should have made the effort. malay natin, legit and nakakatulong pa ako. anyway, next time…
thanx :p
September 21st, 2007 at 3:35PM
I, too, get so guilty about these things. I’m always having second thoughts if these people are legit or they just want to make a quick buck, like you know how some beggars feign disability or bring ‘props’ to add drama. Either way– if I give or not, it still leaves me with a bad feeling. (I-should-have-helped vs. nauto ako dun ah.)