Rough Groove

My aunt

One of the reasons that I went home here in Cebu was to visit my ailing aunt. She’s suffering a complicated case of cancer and is already at an advanced stage. Tonight, on the eve of my departure back to Manila, I visited her at Cebu Doctors Hospital and I told her that we will still be seeing each other once I get back. But then, motioning me to come close to her, she hugged me and whispered in my ear: “This will be our last time to see each other again.”

Prayers please, please, please

Series 33: All About My Father

Capt. Jose A Cabigas II, 1949 - 2006. This is a tribute to my father who just recently passed away. 15 photos of his things that I have found at home and in his luggage that came a few days after his body was brought back to the country. Things that make me remember and what represents him. Shuffling through his belongings, reading his notebooks, I just can’t help it but be emotional. I admit, I’m not that close to my father. In fact, he’s been away for more than half of my life braving the seas to give us a better life.

I hope that with this 15 photos, I can present my father through my eyes. And thanx to Pedro Almodovar, I borrowed his Todo sobre mi madre (All About My Mother) title which is a very good film.

Happy Father’s Day to all fathers out there!

A loss

Its really a terrible loss. Sometimes, thinking about it just would make me cry that I wanted to do other things, distract myself. While I was still in Makati to wait for the body, I watched X-Men and strolled at the spanking and newly opened SM Mall of Asia with my amour. I was burning to DVD some of my photos that are archived in CDs. Read books and magazines. These things also helped. But when calls and information came from time to time, I again feel so sad, so alone.

Outside, just now, its really raining very hard. Maybe the heavens are crying in sympathy?

Death on a Sunday

For the past few days, I haven’t written something nor posted. I just can’t seem to put it down into ones and zeros but the more I delay, the heavier it gets.

Around 0130H, Monday, my mobile rang. I checked who called and it was my mother. She was sobbing. “Dong, si papa nimo. Namatay na” (”… your father died”). At first, tears flowed as I cried, a natural reaction but then it just stopped. I coudn’t believe what I was hearing. It was too shocking but at the other end of the line, it was my mother. I have never heard her cry this way before. I can’t sleep. I cried again. And for the rest of the day, I just felt so alone. I filed for a leave of absence.

My father died, probably of a heart attack in a hotel room in Mumbai, India, while waiting for the ship that he will be handling. He was alone when it happened and that thought, the possible struggle to hang on to dear life was just too much for me to imagine. In the end, he succumbed and expired. Earlier that day, he has been calling my mother to tell her that his heartbeat is getting lower. Calling her every now and then telling her his condition. He was given medications and it improved but later, it went down again. By around 1500H, my mother wondered why no calls came. She rang him but no one answered. This until late in the evening. Then that crucial time came and my mobile phone rang.

Initially, we were told that his body will be brough back to the country by Tuesday or Wednesday that’s why I stayed in Makati to await its arrival. But my mother sent me an SMS telling me that it will still take time due to documentation and other legal processes and it will be flown direct to Cebu that’s why by Wednesday, I was already on a Cebu Pacific flight for Cebu. From the airport to our house, I can’t just help but think of my father that when I arrived home, I just broke down and hugged my mother.

Earlier tonight, Friday, and my father arrived cold and frozen from a Cathay Pacific flight from Hong Kong encased in some cheap coffin and crated just like any other cargo.

Later today, Saturday, and the body, already prepared from the funeral parlor will be brought to the house for the wake and burial will take place 11 June, 1400H.

Cebu cebu cebu

Arrived home yesterday for the weekend. Well, nothing in particular. Just had an opportunity to come to Cebu for around two days. As usual, nothing much to do again but just stay at home the whole day Saturday, surf the internet, download, flickr, blog, photoblog and eat steamed crabs and humba!

Today, my father bought lechon, jackfruit (left) and had puso (hanging rice to none Cebuanos –> this is steamed rice cooked inside a woven receptacle made from coconut leaves) and eaten with one’s bare hands. Just delicious.

Ah, the joys of being back and spoiled with food.